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Friday, March 2, 2007

Leeeeeeeeeroy Jenkins Interview

The Heroes of Warcraft: WC3's JaeHo "Spirit_Moon" Jang & WoW's Ben "Leeroy Jenkins" Schulz.
Back in May, my good buddy Carmac interviewed the man behind the legend, the World's Most Famous "World of Warcraft" Player, Ben "Leeroy Jenkins" Schulz.

Ben handled some tournament events for us at E3, so we had the chance to hang out with him, and he's a very cool guy.

I noticed that this old interview was getting some hits, so I thought I'd post a link to it here. Enjoy!

Also, the video link inside the story is nerfed -- this one works.


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Epileptic Gaming / Mia Rose Photoshop Contest Winners

Yesterday on Epileptic Gaming #108, "Whorecraft" (here and here) star Mia Rose returned to judge the entries in the Photoshop contest.

You can check them out on the EG web site (some NSFW), but this was the winner:

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The Many Adventures of A. Dora Belle - Ironforge

Dora sings:My name is DoraBelle ... My minions? Straight from hell. Don't mess with this doll, pink hair and all. I'm a gnome and I'm proud and I sing out loud. MY NAME IS DORABELLE .... my minions? Straight from hell!

Hey there all you Azerothian explorers! It is I, your faithful A. Dora Belle checking in from the cold north!

Last time I came to you, I was on my way to the snowy Ironforge, where my dwarvy cousins allowed us Gnomeregon Refugees to stay!

Boy what an adventure I had along the way! I guess I have to start on a sad note. On one of the roads I was travelling, I came across a graveyard full of my relatives.

It was a sad reminder of the toll the war is taking on all of us. How many more of my brothers, cousins and sisters need to be taken before we can stop the silliness? Professor TinkleTop should create a device that causes a molecular combustion when the neurological membranes are triggered due to instinctual fighting tendancies.

/wipe tear

ANYWAY! On my trip I came across a camp full of my brothers and sisters! It was good to see some other gnomes for a change. While I love my dwarvy cousins, I'm beginning to tire of ale.

One of my Gnome brothers (and he was cuuuuuuuute) asked me to venture through a cavern and deliver a package of supplies to ANOTHER one of my brothers (and no, they aren't REALLY my siblings) on the other side.

Outside the cave I found a rollercoaster!!! I was SO excited to be able to shoot through this dark, scary, icky, mucky, dangerous cavern in a WONDERFULLY ingenious - very well created gnome invention. So, I jumped in and sat .... and sat.... and sat. I fell asleep for a while... then sat ... and sat .... and sat. Nothing happend.

Darn Gnome contraptions!

I headed in on foot. Through the dark, scary, icky, mucky, dangerous cavern - I defeated mean-and-nasties. When I emerged on the other side I came across the city where I was suppose to deliver the deliverables.

Back in the company of my dwarvy cousins I let my inhibitions free and joined them in a drink. This time, I managed to control my loss of clothing and simply enjoyed a little dancing!

After wandering back out into the cold country side (still a tad bit tipsy) I realized I had lost my way.

Where was this elusive Ironforge I had heard in legend!? I came upon a couple of dwarfy's and asked them to please point me in the correct direction. They pointed right behind them and there it was!

Behold .... Ironforge!

As I entered the gates of the city carved in the mountainside, I could not help but think back on what it must have been like when my mums and dehdee first came here after the destruction of Gnomeregon. How it must have felt like to my mums being carried on a stretcher through these very gates and past the giant dwarvy weilding hammers. What Dehdee must have first felt while trying to hold me close in the confusion.

I stood outside just looking at the statue for a while. Many thoughts raced through my head about my past and my future. Now I was at Ironforge. Maybe I would find my dehdee here!

When I snapped out of my zoning moment I realized I was standing in the cold and had a sudden urge for a nice cup of CogOil (that's like Gnomish Hot Chocolate) I headed inside the gates and found a man sitting on the floor. Well, being that I had SO much on my mind I felt that I naturally had to let it out so that I wasn't burdened down with all that muck.

So we talked. Well, I talked. He was just a nice man who sat and listened to me.

I'm not really sure at what point he had gotten up and left. Therefore, I had to find someone else to tell my story to.

Murky was a GREAT listener. He just stood there and licked my boots as I talked on and on about all of the things in my head.

Finally, I felt light enough to move on and I headed into the heart of Ironforge City. There was a CUUUUUUUUTE Gnome just sitting by the auction house. I took a little time to introduce myself. It was a quick conversation but, when I asked for his number, he gave it to me! Now all I need to do is find a way to contact him. I'm not too sure what 1337 means!

Once I got into the square I came across a party going on! What FUN!!! This was a GREAT way to make my introduction to Ironforge. I must say, there are definitely some INTERESTING characters that hang out in town square !!

I just couldn't control myself and had to get in on some of the action!

In the middle of the party, I saw a couple standing in the corner. Being the curious little gnome I am ... I ran up to see if they wanted to join us. As I was running toward them, the man got down on one knee and proposed.


It was incredibly full day in Ironforge.

I visited a museum!

Saw some AMAZING Gnomish inventions...

And even met the KING!!!! (Although I expected him to be in a white jumpsuit for some reason!)

When the sun sat, I headed down the tunnel to jump on a REAL gnomish travel device - the subway!

Thursday, March 1, 2007

The New WoW Armory Is Very Damn Cool

I was so busy using the brand-spankin' new WoW Armory site to check out Arena tournament action, I missed the fact that it's a complete, publicly accessible database of every single WoW character and guild!

Here's the character sheet for my main character, Verthandi. And here is our guild, the Silvermoon High School Cheer Squad.

Once Blizzard makes it possible to embed a character sheet or gamer tag on your web site or in a forum, the functionality will be complete.

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"The PvP Report" Launches On GBT

My weekly feature, "The PvP Report," launched today on I'll be covering the action in the "World of Warcraft" Arena Tournament, right up to the global live finals event later this year.
With the launch of their “World of Warcraft” Arena Tournament, Blizzard Entertainment adds a third major game to the e-sports pantheon. While some FPS and RTS purists still scoff of the idea of a professional competitive MMORPG, Arena Tournament allows the best players in the international WoW community to prove themselves in official tournament ladders.

Although WoW Arena tournaments have existed for a while, this is the first time Blizzard has hosted an inter-server, worldwide competition with live events. With WoW's large user base and high media profile, this tournament stands to become the most famous event in the history of e-sports, in this writer's opinion.

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The Coming Spy MMO Glut

If you've been holding your breath since 2000 for the sci-fi MMORPG "Citizen Zero," you can stop waiting!

It's been canceled.

Instead, Australian developer Micro Forté is working on an espionage-themed MMO.

Sony Online Entertainment announced their spy MMO, codenamed "Vista," last year SOE runs the "EverQuest" franchise, "Vanguard" and "Star Wars Galaxies" -- making their success rate 1 for 3.

A James Bond MMO is certainly an interesting idea. But just as "City of Heroes" quite literally features a city with thousands of superheroes walking around, isn't there something silly about a city with thousands of spies hanging out in it?

Then again, maybe not. Set it in Cold War Berlin.

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Wednesday, February 28, 2007

The Top Ten MMO Excuses

You've heard them all. Someone screws up a raid, or gets everyone killed at the end of an instance -- but there's always an excuse.

I've collected the top 10 MMO excuses, in the hope they can be retired forever. It won't happen -- but we can always hope, right?

If you're going to screw up in a game, at least think of new excuses, rather than trotting out one of these lame old-skool justifications.

10. I’m a n00b.
This isn’t an excuse – if you’re in the proper n00bie areas, and paying attention, your stupid mistakes shouldn’t affect anyone but you. But if you’re not just a n00b, but a howard – some 12-year-old kid lacking the emotional maturity to play “Wii Bowling,” much less an MMO, well, that’s no excuse either. Go play “Barbie Horse Adventures” until you're old enough to stop snickering at your own female avatar’s wiggling ass.

9. [Random Player] was supposed to give me [Random Buff] -- and the aggro got screwed!
The truth is, not receiving the proper support from your party members may be a legitimate reason for failure, not just a lame excuse. If the healer isn’t healing, the buffer isn’t buffing, and the brick isn’t pulling aggro, then you may get kacked no matter what you do. But far too often, players try to blame their own weaknesses on others. Don’t throw stones – if you weren’t pulling your own weight, then the failures of others aren’t an excuse.

8. Someone was spamming trade chat, and it distracted me.
Oh, please. If there’s not a way turn off general chat without losing party chat, then learn to ignore it. It’s called “concentration” – you can Google it.

7. Someone was at my door / I had to go pee. (tie)
Ah, the “IRL Defense.” Most real-life interruptions are not major life-threatening emergencies. They can probably wait until the end of a combat. And if you’re involved in a giant raid – well, geez dude, just plan ahead. Or maybe you can take up a game that requires less of a commitment. Like “Barbie Horse Adventures.”

6. My character was so much more powerful before the update / before he got nerfed.
Well, boo hoo. If your character got nerfed, it was probably too powerful in the first place. It’s called “game balance” – and since the game is supposed to be fun for everyone, and not just YOU, maybe you should quit your bitching and learn to play your character under the new rules.

5. My computer / video card / monitor is crap.
Well then, you have two solutions to this problem. First, find a second job / sugar daddy / winning lottery ticket, and get a better machine. Or second, alter your game play to fit the capabilities of your system. Plan ahead – choose a character with ranged attacks and spells that do damage over time. Get buffs that help other party members. Avoid direct involvement in combat. Set yourself to "follow" other players. And if your system is too weak to play a game, then don’t play it at all. Switch to "Barbie Horse Adventures."

4. “I’ve got chicken.”
When Leeroy Jenkins famously sabotaged a massive raid, his only excuse was “I’ve got chicken.” Of course, that’s not really an excuse; it’s more of a reason. He had chicken. That’s perfectly understandable, right?

3. I just wanted to see what would happen if I did that.
I’ve been overcome with the urge to do something monumentally stupid, just to see what would happen. And unlike say, climbing over the fence at the Grand Canyon or jumping down a garbage chute, conducting stupid experiments in a virtual world will not get you killed.

Just try your experiments on your own time, rather than when a party is depending on you.

2. That wasn’t me, my girlfriend was using my account.
Please. Like YOU have a girlfriend….

1. Lag!!!

If you have any other favorite MMO excuses, list them in the comments! There's no excuse not to! Heh heh.

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Solving the Healer Problem

Here's a cool blog post over at MMO Gaming about the Healer Problem, and how the folks at "Warhammer Online" are looking to solve it.

The Healer Problem (originally the Cleric Problem) dates all the way back from the earliest days of tabletop D&D. If your character can heal, then the rest of your group won't want you to do anything but heal. This is great for them, but can be mind-numbingly dull for you, the guy who plays the healer.
Being a “pure” healer will be an inefficient play-style based on how our careers are designed. The Warrior Priest, for example, builds Righteous Fury by dealing melee damage.... If the WP hangs back and just tries to use his baseline, non-fury abilities to act as a pure healer, he will suck like a diesel-fueled vacuum cleaner.

It will be impossible to “focus” on healing rather than damage, so players won’t be able to ignore combat healers in favor of “pure” healers because pure healers won’t exist.

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Arrrrr! Ever'thin' Ye be Warntin' Ta Know Abart "Pirates of the Burning Sea"

Over at, a video of interviews with the developers of "Pirates of the Burning Sea" at the New York ComicCon. It's long (23 minutes), but it's got everything you need to know about the upcoming swashbuckler.

The most important revelation in the video? Ninjas.

That's right. Ninjas.

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Tuesday, February 27, 2007

Emotional Azerothians - Males - Part 2

See Part 1 of this post -- the ladies!

Ok, so I got around to posting them earlier than tomorrow! Behold the male /flirt and /silly.


Night Elf
  • I hope you're not afraid of snakes.
  • Wanna bring out the animal in me?
  • I'm a force of nature.
  • Baby, I'm mortal now. Time's a-wastin'!
  • You're an emerald dream come true.

  • Who wants to live forever?
  • What? I didn't hear that.
  • Last night I went to an awesome stag party.
  • I don't know about you but I can't understand a thing those Wisps say. I usually just nod.
  • I don't mind the gnomes but I'm always worried about tripping over one
  • Man I was halfway through the emerald dream when I had to pee.
  • You know those ancient protectors in Darnasus? They're not that old.
  • Gnome
  • Hey, nice apparatus.
  • I like large posteriors and I cannot prevaricate!
  • Everyone keeps talking about beer goggles. I can't find the plans
    for them anywhere!
  • I have a number of inventions I'd like to show you back at my place.
  • I do hope to find some interesting gadgets around here. I do love tinkering with things.
  • You know, I really wish I had a garden where I could put a couple of human statues.
  • I think that last vendor shortchanged me. Oh… oh... that was a bad one.
  • I look bigger in those mirrors where things look bigger.
  • I had an idea for a device where you could put small pieces of bread into it to cook, but in the end I really didn't think there would be much of a market for it.
  • I'd like to give a shout out to my boys in Gnomeregon. Keepin it real - Big T, Snoop Pup and Little Dee's. Y'all are short but you're real baby!
  • Dwarf
  • Where ya from? Not that it matters.
  • You look pretty, I like your hair, here's your drink. Are you ready
  • Enough of this chit chat. Let's get to it then!
  • You'd like to run your hands through my beard, wouldn't ya?
  • Let's get on with it then. I've got a quest to do in 15 minutes.

  • I like my beer like I like my women; stout and bitter.
  • I don't drink anymore. Course I don't drink any less either.
  • Heigh ho… heigh ho … errr… uh… Second verse, same as the first!
  • I don't have a drinkin' problem. I drink, I get drunk, I fall down. No problem!
  • Oh, I'm just a social drinker. Everytime someone says "I'll have a drink" I say "So shall I!"
  • ::Rip:: Oh... I'm havin' a wardrobe malfunction ::spring sound:: … Oooh.. There's me hammer!
  • Ah, Winter… Yes... Winter.
  • Human
  • Hey babycakes!
  • How ya doin?
  • You're tag's showing. It says .. uh.. "made in heaven."
  • Are you tired? Cause you've been running through my mind all day!
  • If I said you had a good body, would you hold it against me?
  • What's your sign?
  • A duck walked in to an apothecary and he said "Give me some chapstick and put it on my bill."
  • So, an orc walks into a bar with a parrot on his shoulder. The bartender says "Hey, where'd ya get that?" The parrot says "Durotar! They got em all over the place"
  • How does a Tauren hide in a cherry tree? He paints his hooves red.
  • A guy walked up to me and said "I'm a tee pee… I'm a wigwam … I'm a tee pee … I'm a wigwam!" I said "Relax man. You're two tents!"
  • Cover for me! I gotta whiz behind a tree.
  • So, I have this idea for a great movie. It's about two gnomes who find a bracelet of power and they have to take it to the Burning Steppes and cast it into the Cauldron. They form the Brotherhood of the Bracelet.
    Along the way they're trailed by a Murloc named Gottem who's obsessed with the bracelet, and nine bracelet boogey men. It could be a three parter called "Ruler of the Bracelet." The first part would be called "The Brotherhood of the Bracelet" followed by "A Couple of Towers", with a climactic ending called "Hey the Kings Back!"
  • Draenei
  • You know, I had a girlfriend but I lost her in the crash. That is the bad news. The good news is I AM AVAILABLE!
  • You know, what happens in Shadowmoon Valley stays in Shadowmoon Valley…
  • Would you be offended if I said you have a beautiful transgoto. The
    other one? Ooh hoo. That's not bad either.
  • I will now speak words of love to you in the language of our people…
    Oongwa Awgwau Eghee egleaahaec.

  • I love this planet. I come here, I see cow and chicken and ride little horses. This planet has everything.
  • We did not realize, but in our language Exodar means "defective Electurd."
  • You know, our tails add to our natural balance and agility -- ::CRASH::
  • We have it all figured out. Step one. We land the Exodar. Step three, we defeat Legion and go home. There is ony one detail missing…
  • When we arrived here I lost many jewels that had been in my family for generations. If you could get your hands on my family jewels, I would be deeply appreciative.
  • What do you mean there's an octopus on my face?
  • Troll
  • We trolls mate for life. Course, we believe in frequent reincarnation.
  • Want some of my jungle love?
  • I hope you're well rested. You're going to need your strength.
  • You look pretty. Pretty tasty!

  • I heard if you cut off an extremity it will regenerate a little bigger. Don't believe it.
  • Cookin's done. Stew here!
  • New Troll here.
  • I got a shrunken head. I just came out a da pool.
  • I like my women dumpy and droopy with halitosis.
  • Orc
  • This is true love. Do you think this happens every day?
  • I love you like a fat kid loves cake.
  • Um… you look like a lady.
  • Lady from the moment I see you I … I did not expect to get this far…
  • That armor looks good on you. It would also look good on my floor.
  • You have six different smiles. One for when you're angry, one for
    when you tear flesh, one for when you chew flesh, one for when you loot bodies, one for when you skin game, and one for when you want to kill something.
  • I will crush and destroy and …. ooooh shiny!
  • It's not easy being green.
  • Orc smash!
  • Stop poking me! Well… that was OK.
  • Man, Dog, it's like I'm feelin you but I’m not feelin' you...
    Ya know?
  • I come from the orcs. We eat with spoons and forks. We love to eat our pork.
  • Blood Elf
  • Hey.. Why don't you come over here and … OOH… watch the
  • Want to see my good side? Muhahaha... That was a trick question. All
    I have are good sides.
  • Your eyes are like the Sunwell. Before the explosion that doomed us all, of course.
  • You look almost as good as I do.
  • You know what I love about your eyes? When I look deep enough, I can see my own reflection.
  • I know every rose has it's thorn but if you would just pour some sugar on me we could rock and roll all night and party every day.
  • Don't you wish your girlfriend was hot… like.. me?
  • I'm trying to cut back on arcane magic. Look, I got the patch!
  • The problem with these Horde characters is that they lack sophistication.
  • So I was in line at the bat handler yesterday, with some undead guy in front of me, and all of a sudden he just lets one go. Didn't even try to disguise it! I don't know what he ate but it did NOT agree with him. I thought, what crawled up YOU and died!?
  • We're allied with the Tauren!? Fantastic! We'll be having steak twice a week.
  • ::sigh:: I could really use a scrunchie. Yeah you heard me!
  • Give me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change. Courage to change the things I can and the wisdom to … ghewwww… just give me some freakin magic before I kill somebody!
  • Undead
  • You have beautiful skin. No maggot holes at all.
  • Don't mind the drool. It's just embalming fluid.
  • I don't smell that bad for a dead dude, do I?
  • If rot was hot, I'd be a volcano.
  • Check my breath. ::blow out:: Is it bad enough for you?
  • Once you go dead, you never go back.

  • Hey diddle diddle the mucas and the spittle. The corpse sank in the lagoon. The murloc said ::lick chops:: and the dwarf spanked the babboon.
  • I can't stand the smell of orcs.
  • I'm dead…. and I’m pissed!
  • Anyone have any odorant? Either wet dog, fresh garbage or low tide would do.
  • Roses are grey. Violets are grey. I'm dead and color blind.
  • Tauren
  • Are you comfortable with complicated machinery?
  • Hey, you into leather?
  • Hey, you work out?
  • You mooove me.
  • You know, older bulls really only have one function…
  • Free rides, for the ladies.

  • Here's the beef!
  • Mess with the bull, you get the horns!
  • You know, Taurens are born hunters. You ever see a Tauren catch a
    salmon out of a stream? Really is quite exciting. Have you ever seen a Tauren stalk a python? 'Course you haven't. That's because Taurens are so adept at blending in with their surroundings.
  • Moo! Are you happy now?
  • Homogenized? No way. I like the ladies!
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    Emotional Azerothians - Females - Part 1

    Check out part 2 of this article -- the gentlemen!

    I recently spent about 5 hours and sifted through every race/gender to collect all of the /silly and /flirt in WoW.

    Below is the compilation of the Females. I will post Males tomorrow. ENJOY!


    Night Elf
  • I'm the type of girl my mother warned me about.
  • Sure, I've got exotic peircings.
  • There's nothing like sleeping in the forest under the moonlight.
  • Actually I'm more of a morning elf.
  • I think guys just use the Emerald Dream as an excuse to avoid calling me back.
  • You know, Wisps are actually pretty useful for personal hygene.
  • Oh I'm dancing again! I hope all your friends are enjoying the show.
  • You know I have to keep moving at night or I'll disapear.
  • Gnome
  • Your ability to form a complete sentence is a plus.
  • At this time I think you should purchase me an alchoholic beverage and engage in diminutive conversation with me in hopes of establishing a rapport.
  • I do not find you completely disagreeable.
  • I don't feel the 1 to 10 scale is fine enough to capture subtle details of compatibility. I'd prefer a 12 dimensional compatibility scale with additional parameters for mechanical aptitude and torque.
  • You are CUUUUTE.
  • You know, squirrels can be deadly when cornered.
  • I apologize profusely for any inconvenience my murderous rampage may have caused.
  • I've discovered that being pummeled by a blunt weapon can be quite painful.
  • Someday, I hope to find the nuggets on a chicken.
  • Dwarf
  • I like tall men.
  • Enough with your flirting. I know you think all dwarven women look the
  • I'll have you know I can flatten steel with my thighs.
  • I'd like to see you in a kilt.
  • I won't fall for any bad pick up line. You got to try 2 or 3 at least.
  • No, they're not real but thanks for noticing.
  • It's like my father always use to say -- shut up and get out.
  • I like my ale like I like my men -- dark and rich.
  • I give myself a dutch oven pedicure every night. I've got no foot fungus at all. My toes are pristine.
  • My uncle has brass balls. No really!
  • I don't like to be underground. It reminds me of death.
  • Human
  • I need a hero.
  • ::giggle:: You've got me all a flutter.
  • My turn offs are rude people, mean people and people who aren't nice.
  • I can't wait 'til this quest is done and I can look for another Garibaldi artifact.
  • I like to fart in the tub.
  • I can't find anywhere to get my nails done.
  • Why does everyone automatically assume I know tailoring and cooking?
  • Do you ever feel like you're not in control of your own destiny? Like, you're being controlled by invisible hands�?�
  • Me and my girlfriends exchange clothes all the time. We're all the same
  • Sometimes I have trouble controlling THE VOLUME OF MY VOICE!
  • Draenei
  • The nights are so chilly on this planet.
  • Are you thinking what I'm thinking? Good, bring ample supply of butter and Goblin Jumper Cables.
  • Yes they are real AND they can cut glass.
  • This planet has a tremendous supply of sandstone. The inhabitants must be wealthy beyond their dreams.
  • How exactly do you crash into a planet? That's what I want to know.
  • Why does everyone have trouble with the name of our people? It sounds just like it is spelled.
  • Stop and ask for directions I told him but NO... It's interdimensional, he says, what can go wrong?
  • Look at my hoof! Does this crack look infected to you?
  • Single Draenei female seeks blacksmith with grinding wheel to take care of me and my gorgeous hooves.
  • Troll
  • When enraged, and in heat, a female troll can mate over 80 times in one night. Are you prepared?
  • You're the type I like to sink my teeth into.
  • I won't bite you where it shows.
  • Aren't you going to ask me out?
  • I know, my natural beauty is intimidating.
  • I got all this and personality too.
  • If cannibalism be wrong, I don't want to be right!
  • The way to a man's heart be through his stomach, but I go through the ribcage.
  • I feel pretty, oh so pretty... ::spit::
  • Strong halitosis be but one of my feminine traits.
  • Orc
  • You had me at "zug zug."
  • Don't talk, just follow me.
  • I'll give you crazy love.
  • Let's not ruin this moment with chit chat.
  • I like men who aren't afraid to cry. Cry UNCLE!
  • You'll do. Let's go!
  • Get between me and my food and you'll lose a hand.
  • I have no respect for people with small peircings. I say go full hog. Put a spear through your head.
  • Man, I think that boar meat's comin' back on me. I gotta hit the can. Anyone have a hearthstone?
  • What's estrogen? Can you eat it?
  • ::sigh: Aww... I need to get my chest waxed again.
  • I feel very feminine, and I'll be the crap out of anyone who disagrees!
  • Blood Elf
  • I'm the girl the ESRB warned you about.
  • No... No I won't do that -- but my sister will.
  • I'm addicted to you baby.
  • Is that a mana worm in your pocket or are you just happy to see me?
  • Do you believe in love at first site or should I walk by again?
  • My mana tap brings all the boys to the yard!
  • Normally I only ride on epic mounts but let's talk.
  • Do you think the expansion will make me fat?
  • I hate Thunder Bluff. You can't find a good burger anywhere!
  • So you mean I'm stuck with this hair color?
  • Mirrors can't talk. Luckily for you they can't laugh either.
  • I went to Undercity to get a facial. Have you seen these people? I said, you don't have a lower jaw and you're gonna give ME a facial? She got mad. At least, I think she did. You ever heard someone try to talk without a lower jaw? ::noises:: Ha ha...Oh... she SOUNDED like a murloc!
  • So, I went to this troll spa the other day and I wound up with dreadlocks and a friggin' bone in my nose. I mean, come ON, who pays for that!?
  • How can I miss you if you don't go away?
  • Undead
  • Nice butt.
  • I don't need to get funky, I'm already there.
  • I don't care that much about romance. I fell in love before and look what happened to me.
  • I can't wait to suck the juice out of your eyeballs.
  • Us undead girls really know how to have a good time because after all, what's the worst that could happen?
  • One good thing about being dead? Biological cloc seems to have stopped.
  • I heard a kneeslapper once, and skipped my kneecap right across a lake
  • This stinks.
  • I'd paint my toenails, but I'm not sure where they fell off.
  • Ahhhh doornails!
  • You know, once you're dead nothing smells bad anymore. Rotten eggs? No problem. Dead fish? Like a spring breeze!
  • I'm in a rotten mood.
  • You don't need deodorant when you don't have any armpits.
  • Yes, they're real! They're not mine�?� but they're real!
  • Tauren
  • Come over here, sailor.
  • Wanna see some good clog dancing?
  • I'm tired of the same old bull.
  • I've got big soulful eyes, long eyelashes and a wet tongue. What more could a guy want?
  • I want a man with soft hands. Preferably four of them.
  • You know how hard it is to get your groove on with the spirit of your great grandmother looking over you?
  • Happy Taurens come from Mulgore.
  • I once laughed so hard I milked all over the floor.
  • In my native tongue, my name means "Dances With Tassles."

  • Check out part 2 of this article -- the gentlemen!

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    A Magnificent WoW Birthday Cake

    Q: What's Wrong With MMOs? A: "Vanguard"

    I liked this angry rant over at Gamers With Jobs. It was meant to be a review of the recently-launched "Vanguard: Saga of Heroes," but author Elysium couldn't bring him/herself to play enough of the game to write a real review.
    Tired and redundant gameplay, barely interesting story, artificial environments populated with lame quests and an over population of sword fodder; I could be talking about any MMO on the market. The whole damn genre has run off the rails and become a parody of itself. Click the button and a gamer-treat rolls occasionally down the little pipe activating neurotransmitters in the brain that beg endlessly for more tiny little gamer-treats. So why pick on the little guy?

    Fine, you want to know what really pisses me off about Vanguard; what voices me with the attitude that Sigil stole my lunch money? Vanguard sets a bad precedent for development and product release. In the months to launch Brad McQuaid made it very clear that regardless of whether Vanguard was actually ready for launch Sony, which had saved the game from cancellation following Microsoft's parting of ways, had set a firm timetable for retail, and come hell or high water the game only had enough money and time to reach that date. So, now that the game has released in its incomplete state, in a state that McQuaid himself describes as requiring patches, bug fixes and new feature implementation on par with a beta product, Sigil essentially comes to the consumer as the third investor in the process of the development cycle, and that is not just a terrible way of doing business, but an irresponsible step in the wrong direction for complicit consumers.
    Via Slashdot.

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    Silvermoon High School Cheer Squad Is Now Recruiting!

    Our brand new "World of Warcraft" guild is recruiting!
    Are you pretty and popular? The Silvermoon High School Cheer Squad is recruiting! Female Blood Elves only! Show your Sin'Dorei pride! Mail or PST our Dance Captain Aktrez, or Cheer Captain Verthandi for an invite! No geeks or freaks. Gooooooooooo Hawkstriders!
    Becky and I started the guild on Korialstrasz, inspired by the female belf /joke and /flirt emotes. We're working on a web site and saving up for a tabard.

    Click here for more info.


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    Azerothian Pick Up Lines: Ladies

    The ladies of Azeroth are all vying for your affection. The night is young and you have 10 girls feeding you pick up lines. Based on the lines, alone, who will you be going home with?

    Who would you go home with?

    Your ability to form a complete sentence is a plus.
    I'm the type of girl my mother warned me about.
    I won't fall for any bad pick up line. You got to try 2 or 3 at least.
    My turn offs are rude people, mean people and people who aren't nice.
    Are you thinking what I'm thinking? Good, bring ample supply of butter and Goblin Jumper Cables.
    When enraged, and in heat, a female troll can mate over 80 times in one night. Are you prepared?
    You'll do. Let's go!
    Normally I only ride on epic mounts, but let's talk.
    I can't wait to suck the juice out of your eyeballs.
    I'm tired of the same old bull! free polls

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    Monday, February 26, 2007

    Runing Naked Through Hillsbrad & Arathi

    My Blood Elf Warlock, Verthandi, got the succubus quest in the Undercity.

    The first thing you have to do is go collect the hearts of two virtuous men. One of them hangs out at the Greymane Wall in Silverpine Forest, which is a pain in the ass because the area is chock full of level 20 humans, wolves and lycanthropes, plus a nasty 24th-level Son of Arugal that enjoys attacking from behind. Plus the guy you have to kill takes a really, really long time to respawn.

    After I killed him, I had to walk all the way to the frickin' Wetlands to find the second time. This means you have to run all the way through the redundantly-named Hillsbrad Foothills, and halfway through the Arathi Highlands (I suspect that "arathi" is the Elvish word for "highland"). Parts of both these areas are inhabited by nasty 30th level mobs, and even if I stuck to the roads, I was likely to get attacked and killed.

    So I just decided to sprint for it. And to keep my armor and possessions from getting damaged in an attack, I did it naked.

    Here's Verthandi, running naked through the Hillsbrad Foothills, not long after stripping naked and leaving Silverpine Forest.

    Look! Thoradin's Wall!

    These Alliance losers are staring at my sweet young body. There were a number of rude comments from passersby.

    Running, running, running.

    Here I am standing in front of the Thandol Span, just before reaching my objective. I was only killed three times!

    Back in the Undercity, I have slain myself a succubus!

    And here I am with my new best friend! I call her Kitten (as in "Kitten with a Whip").

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