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Wednesday, February 28, 2007

The Top Ten MMO Excuses

You've heard them all. Someone screws up a raid, or gets everyone killed at the end of an instance -- but there's always an excuse.

I've collected the top 10 MMO excuses, in the hope they can be retired forever. It won't happen -- but we can always hope, right?

If you're going to screw up in a game, at least think of new excuses, rather than trotting out one of these lame old-skool justifications.

10. I’m a n00b.
This isn’t an excuse – if you’re in the proper n00bie areas, and paying attention, your stupid mistakes shouldn’t affect anyone but you. But if you’re not just a n00b, but a howard – some 12-year-old kid lacking the emotional maturity to play “Wii Bowling,” much less an MMO, well, that’s no excuse either. Go play “Barbie Horse Adventures” until you're old enough to stop snickering at your own female avatar’s wiggling ass.

9. [Random Player] was supposed to give me [Random Buff] -- and the aggro got screwed!
The truth is, not receiving the proper support from your party members may be a legitimate reason for failure, not just a lame excuse. If the healer isn’t healing, the buffer isn’t buffing, and the brick isn’t pulling aggro, then you may get kacked no matter what you do. But far too often, players try to blame their own weaknesses on others. Don’t throw stones – if you weren’t pulling your own weight, then the failures of others aren’t an excuse.

8. Someone was spamming trade chat, and it distracted me.
Oh, please. If there’s not a way turn off general chat without losing party chat, then learn to ignore it. It’s called “concentration” – you can Google it.

7. Someone was at my door / I had to go pee. (tie)
Ah, the “IRL Defense.” Most real-life interruptions are not major life-threatening emergencies. They can probably wait until the end of a combat. And if you’re involved in a giant raid – well, geez dude, just plan ahead. Or maybe you can take up a game that requires less of a commitment. Like “Barbie Horse Adventures.”

6. My character was so much more powerful before the update / before he got nerfed.
Well, boo hoo. If your character got nerfed, it was probably too powerful in the first place. It’s called “game balance” – and since the game is supposed to be fun for everyone, and not just YOU, maybe you should quit your bitching and learn to play your character under the new rules.

5. My computer / video card / monitor is crap.
Well then, you have two solutions to this problem. First, find a second job / sugar daddy / winning lottery ticket, and get a better machine. Or second, alter your game play to fit the capabilities of your system. Plan ahead – choose a character with ranged attacks and spells that do damage over time. Get buffs that help other party members. Avoid direct involvement in combat. Set yourself to "follow" other players. And if your system is too weak to play a game, then don’t play it at all. Switch to "Barbie Horse Adventures."

4. “I’ve got chicken.”
When Leeroy Jenkins famously sabotaged a massive raid, his only excuse was “I’ve got chicken.” Of course, that’s not really an excuse; it’s more of a reason. He had chicken. That’s perfectly understandable, right?

3. I just wanted to see what would happen if I did that.
I’ve been overcome with the urge to do something monumentally stupid, just to see what would happen. And unlike say, climbing over the fence at the Grand Canyon or jumping down a garbage chute, conducting stupid experiments in a virtual world will not get you killed.

Just try your experiments on your own time, rather than when a party is depending on you.

2. That wasn’t me, my girlfriend was using my account.
Please. Like YOU have a girlfriend….

1. Lag!!!


If you have any other favorite MMO excuses, list them in the comments! There's no excuse not to! Heh heh.

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Friday, January 12, 2007

Partially Free MMORPGs -- A Master List

This one of three lists of MMOs -- the other two are a list of Free MMOs and a list of Pay MMOs. I will keep all three updated, with links from the home page.

Here are my criteria for a partially free MMO. The program download must be free, and one must be able to play without paying a monthly fee. However, the site may charge for premium items and content; it may also charge a monthy fee for extra content.

Cash charge for premium items


Asian Fantasy
Community
Furry
Golf
Isometric
Macintosh
Martial Arts
Medieval Fantasy
Modern
Naval
Occult Horror
Pirate
Puzzle
Science Fiction
Shooter
Text-based
Virtual Pets
WWII
2D Side-scroller
Windows
PARTIALLY FREE MMOs

Albatross 18 aka PangYa 2005

Anarchy Online 2001 Free for “fr00bs,” ad supported; $14.95/month eliminates ads.

Ashen Empires 2004 Free play up to level 10; after, $8.95/month.

Conquer Online 2005

Deicide Online 2006

Dransik 2003 Free; $8.95/month to increase backpack size and upgrade to "Ashen Empires"; game is not supported by publisher.

El Kardian 2001

Entropia Universe 2003 No cost to download and play, but ALL items cost real money; however, in-game money can be cashed out as real money!

Eternal Lands 2003 Items are unusually expensive.

FaitH 2002 Free play with limited access; premium membership $5.95/month; additional charges for custom avatars. Internet Explorer required.

Five Masters ????

Flyff 2004

Fung Wan Online 2004

Furcadia 1996

Eudemons Online 2006

Gunz The Duel 2006

KAL Online 2004

Knight Online 2004 “Free2Play” with cash payment for special items, cannot log in when server loads are heavy; Gold Premium $24.95/month.

Maple Story 2002

Monster and Me 2003

MU Online 2003 Free to play with limited support; pay-to-play servers $12/month.

The Legend of Ares Beta

Martial Heroes 2003

Myth War Online 2006

NavyField 2004 Free play has penalties after level 30; all players pay cash charge for “premium” ships; subscription $11.99/month.

OZ xxxx

Pirate King Online 2006

Puzzle Pirates 2003 Cash charge or $9.95/month for special items.

Rakion 2005 Cash charge for “Power User” status.

RAN Online 2006 Cash charge for “character cards,” costumes, items; US server closed -- English international server based in Malaysia.

Rappelz 2006

Rubies of Eventide 2004 Free with limited functionality, or a one-time $50 donation.

Second Life 2003 Cash charges for certain resident-created activities and items; $9.95 a month to own “land.”

Runescape 2001 Free (ad supported) or Membership ($5/month).

Silkroad Online 2005

Space Cowboy Online 2005

Supreme Destiny 2006

Survival Project ???? Cash charge for items (but you can pay for points at Shell stations in Malaysia!)

Tibia 1997 Free with limited access; premium membership $19.95/3 months.

Xiah ????

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Thursday, January 11, 2007

Free MMORPGs -- A Master List

Recently I discovered several online lists of "free" MMOs, and I thought I'd maintain such a list here on Avataritoria.

A little research revealed, however, that most of these games were not free. At all.

So I have compiled three lists -- a list of Free MMOs, a list of Partially Free MMOs, and a list of Pay MMOs. I will keep all three updated, with links from the home page.

Here are my criteria for a free MMO. It must be FREE -- no cost, ever. All content must be available for free. It may be advertising supported -- but it must not offer an ad-free version for money.

Asian Fantasy
Community
Furry
Golf
Isometric
Macintosh
Medieval Fantasy
Modern
Naval
Occult Horror
Pirate
Puzzle
Science Fiction
Shooter
Text-based
Virtual Pets
WWII
2D Side-scroller
Windows
FREE MMORPGs

Archmage: Reincarnation From Hell 1998 Accepts donations

BattlePosition 2005

DarkEden 2001

Elysarian Kingdoms 2005 Accepts donations

Endless Online 2003

Hero Online 2006

Ogre Island 1999

PlaneShift Beta

Shadowbane 2003

Thang Online Beta

Yes, I'm afraid that's it. If you know of any more, let us know!

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